the longest journey is the journey inwards

2006-04-21T02:05:00.000+08:00

moved.
goodbye snoops and random people.

okay, i don't know who my silent readers are.
you may be someone i don't mind sharing my life with, so do drop me an email/msn me k?

as for those vocal readers who tag and stuff, basically those i know who read my blog, i'll drop you an msn-message/email soon, or ask when you see me online k?

reasons why i've moved:

1. the new place rocks! (save for some technical issues) - i can password as and when i like, there are categories (which i haven't quite figured out how to add. LOL.) etc etc la
2. i want my silent readers to own up, that is IF they want to continue reading my blog. haha.
3. i don't want any more snoops/people who shouldn't have the right to access to my thoughts.
4. i want a change.

2006-04-20T13:19:00.000+08:00

back home, eaten lunch, feeling very relac.
heh.

finally, the supposedly-killer paper is over.
honestly, it was relatively easy. thankfully.
can pass la.

sigh.
soon.
just 4 more days.

- about studies -
i promise i will work harder and put in more effort next semester.
after 2 semesters in Uni, i guess i finally see the value behind consistency.
i realise that it really makes a huge difference if one has been consistently revising faithfully.

in fact, it's pretty simple.
don't have to be those hard-core mugging. just have to make sure that you know the concepts and understand what is taught, and practise with the help of tutorials.
then, when it comes to exams, everything becomes much more easy to manage.

:)

that's just what i will do next sem.

don't you dare discourage me and say that i'm all talk but no action.
i'm going to talk and take action this time.

no, i'm not saying that i'm going to be competitive again.
i don't want to get back into the rat race. it's too sickening.
what i said still holds: it doesn't matter much whether i graduate with first-class honours or not.

BUT it doesn't mean that i should slack my life away and not put in effort at all.
seriously, this is no-good attitude.

it's not about getting the As anymore, it's about being responsible to myself.
:D i'm super glad that i've managed to sort out my thinking and be clear of what i want.

~~old: Must Win~~
~~intermediate: Whatever La~~
new and permanent: Must Do My Best

today is a good day!
;)

2006-04-19T19:07:00.000+08:00

Financial Management Overdose.

no sleeping before 3am.
thankfully, FM is like Mathematics, so i won't fall asleep while studying.

can't wait for the clock to strike 12 at noon tomorrow.

2006-04-17T22:35:00.000+08:00

i really do not like some of my relatives.
so so so irksome.

i don't understand their mentality.

they are adults.
immature grown-ups, may i add.

*
i think i will pass Accounting 1.
haha.
one down.
3 more.

A and A- for Marketing Project and Case respectively.
YAY!
:)
thankfully, i still have that one chance at an A, IF things go my way for the paper itself.

actually,
i'm thinking.. if i do put in effort for Statistics too..
A shouldn't be too far away either, IF i manage to get it during the four days of revision.

oooo.. i am so optimistic!
lol.

let me be la, k?
let me indulge while i still can.
:)

2006-04-17T07:08:00.000+08:00

my heart's thumping real hard now.
scary shit.
i am really freaked out now.

good luck, me.
good luck, you all.

why was i so slacky?
haha.
too late for regrets.
*hugs me real tight: you can. just do your best.

okay, i am ready.
shoot.

2006-04-15T10:44:00.000+08:00

okay, i'm like finally getting the jitters now.
2 more days and it's Accounting 1.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
so damn freaking near!

haha.
ok, ok, relax.
breathe in, breathe out.

it'll be over soon.
:)
haha.

i went to make new spectacles last night.
pretty pinkish purple frame.
lalalalala~
will be ready just in time for work.
and i've booked a facial slot right after my last paper on 24th.
lol.
i feel like my exams are over already man, if not for that nagging guilt at the back of my mind.

JIAYOU darlings!
cannot slack.
1 more week or so.
what's this week of hardship compared to 3 months of freedom?
:D
right right?

2006-04-14T11:42:00.000+08:00

Velazquez's Christ Crucified
(At The Prado)
Boey Kim Cheng

The darkness is pure, and perfect, defining
your dying with clean and adamant lines. Perhaps
you are already dead. your spirit slipped
into the night, leaving the pale moonlight
of your body and the solid cross framing
its loneliness. You are so well stretched
out, nailed with such precision that the weight
of death scarcely shows. They even provide
a resting block for your feet. Only
your head hangs down, your locks falling
to the right, a final gesture of resignation.
Your eyes are closed to a world sunk
beneath the combined pressure of halo and crown.

The desolation is complete, the absence
fully embodied. No lamenting disciplines,
no curious or unbelieving spectators.
No angels wait behind the dark curtain.
The emptiness keeps pity out, and swallows
all doubts of your death.

2006-04-13T15:11:00.000+08:00

emilia's works. i like! :)
grandpa's 70th da shou

sweetiepie Amanda.

and.. because i know most of my readers are having examinations now, i present to you..

THE CLASSIC - pimples, hairband, spectacles, auntie pyjamas.

see how much i sacrifice just to make you happy? :) haha.

okay, entertained liao?
time to hit the books!
jiayou!!! *hugs.

2006-04-13T00:31:00.000+08:00

i always feel very happy whenever i see that you're online.
chatting with you makes me feel at ease.
i do not have to worry, at all, about saying the wrong things.
i can talk to you about anything under the sun.
and i know, for sure, that you won't judge.
i can never trust anyone else this much.
rest assured that you will always be that special one.
*hugs tight.

thank god for you.
really.
i wouldn't have gotten through the countless dark days without you.
i've let you down so many times. and i know the final one was a big blow to you.
instead of hating me, you forgave and treated me as well as before.

the best of all is that i know that i will always be able to count on you, no matter what may come in the future.

thank you, very very much.

although we are not romantically-related anymore, you still mean alot to me.

it's their loss for not valuing you.
i know how much effort you've put into the job.
trust me, (although history has mostly proved otherwise), good guys will be duly rewarded.

you are a good man.
and you will find a equally outstanding lady.
but it takes time, you see.
it pays to wait for the best, isn't that so?
;)

i will always be here for you too.
take care and don't think too much k?

love,
Evelyn

2006-04-12T10:49:00.000+08:00

i've been logging in and out of blogspot and deleting entry after entry, because i don't know what to blog.
i just feel like blogging.
but after realising that my entries were so pointless, i start deleting them and logging out, only to find myself logged in, again.
lol.

let's talk about changes. i've been wanting to blog about these since the longest time ever.

i've changed very much after i came into NTU.
ask anyone who knows me before this and they will definitely say that Evelyn is competitive and extremely gungho when it comes to academic performance.
ask anyone i've newly known and they will tell you the total opposite - that i'm lazy, slacky and simply easily satisfied, how can? they'll question. (remember how competitive the people in Accountancy are? sigh.)
actually, i surprise myself.
i never would have expected this change.
not when i would always get very moody and emotional, even over a test grade.

i guess that it stems from my change in perspectives and definition of happiness in life.

my dream was to graduate with a good honours and progress equally well in my career.

now, my dream is to graduate with a merit (or, god bless, a not-so-good honours) and get a job that allows me to be sufficiently happy, material-wise, and at the same time, gives me enough time-off to be with my dear ones.
i really want to build a family of my own.
it will make me very very very happy if i can have dine-outs and go for movies some days of the week, and stay home other days to enjoy some alone time with my husband.
(i would insist to have a maid in the past, but now i wouldn't want a intruder. ;) heh. romantic ma. you can't possibly feel the romance with an outsider hawking over you, yes? haha.)

anyway, i am so looking forward to marriage.
i don't bother myself with the negative things they say about marriage nowadays.
i won't say that mine will be perfect, though i hope for it to be.
but i will put in effort and time. i just know i will. :D
i really want to be the wife whom my husband will be proud of.
(the over-achiever in academic performance has turned into the over-achiever in family-keeping. haha.)

2006-04-10T11:25:00.000+08:00

15 more days.
i can't wait!

just give me a 3.0 GPA and i will be jumping for joy!
haha.

Expectations is the word, remember?
:)

good luck, people!
keep it going!!!

2006-04-05T11:48:00.000+08:00

http://flash.cyol.com/product/05121802324416.swf

2006-04-04T15:04:00.000+08:00

time flies.
the semester is coming to an end in 3 weeks' time, and so are my examinations.
:)

btw, i'm so happy i secured a job!
i'll be starting (office) work at the company that Jie Kai is working in on 25th April, the very next day after my last paper; IF nothing goes wrong, that is. lol.
i hope they don't get impatient and look for another replacement to replace the guy who has already left.
i hope i don't start my san fen zhong re du nonsense again. (enthusiastic one moment, lazy the next.)
i hope the people there are nice to me and i enjoy going to work every day.

anyway, people, a little bit more.
the last lap.
jiayou k?
freedom is just a short while and a small distance away.

2006-03-31T22:18:00.000+08:00

the PAC (Pioneer Alumni Circle) exco met up with Mrs Tan, PJ's new principal today.
honestly, we didn't feel good about the meeting.. and our impression of her wasn't all that good.

but everything changed completely after the meeting.
she was nice, sweet, rational, friendly and understanding.
all things good la, basically.
so far.
haha.

(:

btw, the PAC is organising an overnight movie marathon from 3rd-4th June.
details soon when everything's confirmed.
we'll be showing the extended versions of the trilogy of LOTR.

anyway,
this is my marketing group, Peter-less. (my face looks fat. bleah.)

this is stupid ben, being his stupid self. LOL. (in case you're wondering who on earth this Peter who has a bitchy girlfriend is, he is the one in the background.)

btw, i met Kai Jie in the FAL this afternoon.
he was damn sweet la!
he spent like 2 hours talking to me about the exams, and how i should go about studying for it!
=)
must really give him a good treat if i do manage to pass comfortably.
heh.

i am in an amazingly good mood today!
happy fappy!
(:

2006-03-30T03:02:00.000+08:00

i don't care for top grades.
i don't need first-class honours.
i don't care for the best career.
i don't need the job that will give me many money.
i don't care for branded goods.
i don't need a luxurious lifestyle.

i just want to graduate.
i just want to find a job that allows me to survive comfortably.
i just want to be happy with the ones i love so much.

most of all, i just want to be the best wife.
and.. my husband to be the most fortunate man on Earth.

女人嘛，最重要的还是找到一个对自己无微不至的好老公。
而且。。。最幸福的是，能够成为那好老公的好老婆。

2006-03-28T15:35:00.000+08:00

thank you everyone who asked. *hugs.
(:
it's over now, i guess.

the matter is over.
our friendship is, well.. over too.

it's a little hurting.
afterall, we had lots of fun doing Marketing together.

our friendship was already hanging by a thread after it happened.

this afternoon, it snapped completely.

he asked me aside, away from the rest.
i think that you owe my girlfriend an apolopy for using profanities on her.
she is innocent too.

right.
oh, i'm so damn sorry.

let's check www.dictionary.com:

bitch
n.

(1) A female canine animal, especially a dog.
(2) Offensive.
- A woman considered to be spiteful or overbearing.
- A lewd woman.
- A man considered to be weak or contemptible.
(3) Slang. A complaint.
(4) Slang. Something very unpleasant or difficult.

on that night when we quarrelled over the alteration of my password,
when i said
honestly, i think your girlfriend's a bitch.,
i meant (2) point 1.
i'm sure he's sane enough to know.

and i didn't mean it as a vulgarity and i didn't intend to profane.

anyway, she is indeed spiteful and overbearing what.
i didn't accuse her.

but i didn't want to say much.
the moment he told me i owe her an apology,
i asked for her handphone number immediately and sent an "i'm sorry" to her.
i told him, in the face, that i apologised only for the sake of it, and not because i really want to do so.

i don't know why actually.
but i was disappointed.

i thought we were friends.

Peter, i really hate your girlfriend and i still think she is a bitch.
OOPS.
sorry for using profanities on her, again.
BITCH.

2006-03-28T15:11:00.000+08:00

Remember, remember, the fifth of November.

V for Vendetta was originally a British anthology comic.
Moore (the author of the comic strip) stated in an interview:

...the central question is, is this guy right? Or is he mad? What do you, the reader, think about this? Which struck me as a properly anarchist solution. I didn't want to tell people what to think, I just wanted to tell people to think, and consider some of these admittedly extreme little elements, which nevertheless do recur fairly regularly throughout human history.

know what's the most amazing thing?
even the name of the original publisher starts with a "V" (i.e. Vertigo)!

more about V for Vendetta.

more about the film itself.

2006-03-28T00:01:00.000+08:00

V for Vendetta.

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

2006-03-27T03:54:00.000+08:00

it's 4am.
and i've to wake up at 7am.
3 hours of sleep only.
sad.

but i'm finally done with my Marketing and Accounting powerpoint slides!
*smugs. and i'm so proud of them!
heh.
maybe i should set up a do-your-powerpoint-slides-for-you service in NTU.
i will guarantee satisfaction somemore k. lol.

anyway,
TOTALLY OUT-OF-POINT, but nevertheless..

look! aren't my dimples just simply lovely? WHAHAHAHA.
i loveeeeeeeeeee them, don't you? ;)

2006-03-26T11:53:00.000+08:00

Sex and the City: The Four Women, the Four Elements
Your results are based on the four Elements of Astrology: Fire, Earth, Air and Water. Each Element has its own set of characteristics, and each of us displays some combination thereof, usually with a focus on one or two. Samantha, Miranda, Carrie and Charlotte each personify one of the Elements and its basic traits. Which Elements most strongly influence you?

You scored 60% Carrie
Your answers peg you as a Carrie-type, much influenced by the Air Sign qualities associated with Gemini, Libra and Aquarius. Like confident Carrie, a sex columnist, you're curious and perceptive, always seeking answers and never satisfied with the superficial. An Air Sign influence can lead to indecision and an avoidance of tough issues, like with Carrie and her on-again, off-again attachment to Mr. Big. Forward-thinking, incredibly intelligent and witty, you just exude quirky charm. You'd be utterly bored by someone who's just a pretty face or hot body -- though you don't mind looking and flirting! You're more turned on by an equally smart and funny mate, someone who challenges your mind and makes you laugh. You love to talk, so you need a good listener who's open to playful and eccentric ideas about love and lovemaking.

You scored 30% Charlotte
A romantic at heart, you chose the answers that demure Charlotte may have chosen. Strongly influenced by the intuitive, profound and sometimes naïve Water Signs -- Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces -- you're like a mother, a mystery and a poet all in one. Though on the surface you may seem innocent and all about seeking the good in people, beneath the surface, you hide secret yearnings for intimacy, for attachment and ideal love. You're seeking a knight in shining armor, a soul mate, someone who will complete you and tether you to the earth when you get carried away with your fantasies. You're super-sensitive, soaking up the moods of others; you emote freely, crying at commercials and sappy movies. You also provide a shoulder to cry on and open arms for hugs. Be careful that you're not so wide-eyed and trusting that you get taken in by some cunning wolf in sheep's clothing.

You scored 10% Miranda
You chose many of the same answers that Earth Sign-like Miranda, the cynical but pragmatic lawyer, might have chosen. Just like Miranda's had a tough time deciding whether to give in to the affections of Steve the Bartender, you don't give your heart up to just anyone. Miranda shies away from a relationship with Steve because he's 'just' a bartender, not something more conventionally ambitious or stable. Those with powerful Earth Sign qualities -- characteristics associated with Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn -- are cautious in love and seek stability and status over nearly anything else. Earth Signs provide a steady, realistic attitude and they can bring order out of chaos. A little-known Earth Sign fact: Incredibly sensual, you seethe beneath that smart, expensive business suit of yours, yearning for intimacy but hesitant to give up your material needs, your career ambitions or your responsibilities for a passionate moment that might not turn out the way you'd hope.

You scored 0% Samantha
You identify with Samantha's bold and liberated Fire Sign qualities, characteristics associated with the Signs of Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. You're strong, audacious and larger than life -- and you take what you want! Sometimes you can even be thoughtless and selfish, as you get so caught up in craving immediate gratification and excitement that you overlook someone's feelings. Your personal style likely reflects your desires: sleek, low-cut, revealing just a bit more than might be considered acceptable. Watch that you're not coming on too strong, though. You could scare potential suitors off with all your drama. If you seek so much attention, the more basic qualities of the Fire Signs could be burned right out of the picture. Show less skin or cleavage and more of your creativity, your vibrant leadership skills and courageous generosity!

2006-03-25T15:12:00.000+08:00

x². shh... dun disturb just sent you a Nudge!

x². **YAWN** says:
i read ur blog!
x². **YAWN** says:
dam drama sia i enjoyed the show!

lol.
stupid David!

2006-03-24T19:24:00.000+08:00

this is the most absurd and dramatic thing i've ever experienced.

it is truly an apt example of how fiction mirrors reality, and vice versa.

popcorn and nachos in hand?
16oz soft drink by your side?
okay, let's get started then.

Scene 1:
as usual, Evelyn receives a couple of interesting emails from her friend.
she decides to forward them to her other friends since she feels they are worth sharing.

Scene 2:
NBS IT Lab 3.

Marketing Case Presentation Meeting in progress.
People present: Evelyn, Peter, Ben, Swee Chin and Angela.
5 people, 4 computers in use.

Evelyn opens Gmail Inbox and finds a mail from Peter, in response to one of her forwarded emails.

She thinks Peter is playing a trick on her.
And so she asks "eh, why you email me this?"

He says he is innocent.

Evelyn checks time of email and realises that the email is sent 1 minute ago.
Peter cannot be the one who sent the reply.
He was beside her all the while.

Evelyn decides to be naughty and reply to that reply.
(Everyone in the Marketing group is wondering if the one who replied is Peter's girlfriend who got jealous because he is getting mails from other girls. So, everyone witnesses Evelyn's joke.)

-Peter leaves IT Lab after receiving a phone call-

Scene 3:
Peter returns and says that his girlfriend just received a ~~truckload (okay, exaggerating.)~~ couple of sms-es that say things like "Your boyfriend is doing project with me now. Love blossoms as time passes" nonsense.

The Marketing group starts joking about this.

-Peter leaves school first because he has something on-

Scene 4:
The remaining 4 people - Ben, Swee Chin, Angela and, Evelyn leave the IT lab for home-sweet-home 2 hours after Peter's departure.

suddenly, Peter calls.

Peter asks if Evelyn was the one who sent the sms-es earlier in the afternoon.
Evelyn did not do it and therefore, denies.
Peter says that his girlfriend made a police report and the police says that the sms-es were sent from a NTU account. to be exact, they were sent from Evelyn's personal NTU-login account.

Evelyn becomes a suspect.

Scene 5:
Ben, Swee Chin and, Evelyn discusses about the happenings on their way home.
They are extremely puzzled, especially Evelyn, who is wrongly accused.
But Evelyn is not angry/mad at being wrongly accused.
She is just very curious as to why such a thing would happen.

-Evelyn thinks that it's just nothing.. and forgets it gradually-

Scene 6:
Evelyn's phone rings.
It is Peter.

"Can you please change your NTU password? Just so that if your account was really hacked and misused by someone, your innocence will be proven once the person, after failing to get into your account because you've changed your password, uses another account to send stupid sms-es again."

The girlfriend's turn to talk, after Peter's fruitless attempts to persuade Evelyn to change her password.

In a very arrogant and as-if-Evelyn-is-the-one-who-sent-those-smses tone,

"Can you please change your NTU password? Just so that if your account was really hacked and misused by someone, your innocence will be proven once the person, after failing to get into your account because you've changed your password, uses another account to send stupid sms-es again. If you do not change your password and I still continue to receive these sms-es, it will mean that it's you who is sending the sms-es."

Evelyn gets damn irritated and hangs up, without bidding goodbye.

Scene 7:
Phone rings again.
Peter, again.

"Can you please change your NTU password? Just so that if your account was really hacked and misused by someone, your innocence will be proven once the person, after failing to get into your account because you've changed your password, uses another account to send stupid sms-es again."

SAME THING AGAIN.

Evelyn gets even more irritated and agrees to change.
Hangs up irritatedly.

Scene 8:
Evelyn cannot take this lying down.
She did not do it, so, why should she give in?

She messages Peter:
"I will not change my password. I want to make a trip down to the police station that you made the report. I need to clarify things."

Peter calls.
They argue.

Peter (& girlfriend) say that if Evelyn refuses to change her password, they will press charges against her.
Evelyn invites Peter and his girlfriend to press charges.
Peter's girlfriend says something about Evelyn having to pay for the charges if Evelyn is guilty.
Peter says that currently, all evidence is against her.

Evelyn hesitates.
(even though she knows that she didn't do it.)

Call ended.

Scene 9:
Evelyn's mother, sister and boyfriend interfere.
Even they do not believe their ears.
The girlfriend is insane.
The story is so dramatic that it has become doubtful.
So many loopholes.

Even they invite Peter and his girlfriend to press charges if they want to.

Scene 10:
Evelyn calls Peter.
"I will not change my password. Go ahead and press whatever charges you want to. Goodbye."

Scene 11:
Evelyn's handphone -
Message from Peter.

"Hey i'm very caught in between... Can you Juz take it as a favour for me n change your password...If someone is caught i will send the report to u too k... What do u say?! Juz as a favour for me so i will know who is msging my Gf..."

Evelyn does not get it.

She sms-es Peter,
"I don't understand why if i don't change my password, she has to press charges. And if i change it, she won't. What logic?"

Peter replies,
"Coz now we can only dig deeper if we press charges against someone... But if you don't change your password that person can keep using your account.. To send web sms... This way I can never find out who is it... But if you change your password and she gets another sms she can press charges on the other fellow. So u won't get involved... Don't worry i will send u a police report at the end if someone gets caught... Now u understand why?!"

Evelyn is still not convinced.
If the hacker really intends to hide his/her identity, he/she can jolly well hack another person's account or hack Evelyn's account again to send such sms-es.
Even if Evelyn does change her password, it doesn't help to catch the culprit.
It only helps to clear Evelyn's name IF Peter's girlfriend still gets sms-es after Evelyn changes her password.
IF she does not receive any sms-es after Evelyn changes her password, it's tantamount to saying that Evelyn was the culprit.

Scene 12:
Evelyn is still not convinced.

But after much persuading by Marketing mate, Swee Chin,
and also because Evelyn sympathises with Peter and sees no point to spoil their rather good friendship and project chemistry just because of stupid people,

she changes her password.

she sms-es Peter,
"Peter, i've changed my password already. But i hope you're clear about one thing. I agree to do so SOLELY because i give YOU face and i do not want to spoil our friendship and project work chemistry just because of some irrelevant people. NOT because i'm scared of your girlfriend, NOT because i'm scared that she'll press charges, NOT because i'm afraid of trouble. I'm not afraid of anything. I just sympathise with YOU and YOUR circumstances now. Anyway, I really need time off. I'm really very tired of this, especially when it isn't my problem in the first place. Please do not bother me with regards to this anymore."

Peter replies,
"Ok Thanks alot... Knew u would understand.. I'm also very tired... Second time happening already...Sorry to get u implicated into this... Owe u a treat k.. Haha... I mean it this time... I know u r innocent... Juz dont see a point for everyone spending time and money on this but not catching the culprit!! Thanx again... Good Nite =P"

Scene 13:
Evelyn is truly tired.
It has been a long day.

Please do throw away your empty popcorn boxes and empty soft drink cups.
(:
We hope you enjoy the show.

the show has ended.
it's up to the audience to evaluate.

*
Evelyn speaks up:
I really pity Peter.
His girlfriend is really outrageous.
Honestly,
we all feel that his girlfriend is a worthy suspect.
She seems to be weaving tales.
But it will always remain a mystery.
There are SO MANY loopholes, so many doubts.

I still HATE her.
and i still think she is a major suspect.

edit:
lastest update.
Peter says:
Apparently, everything is caused by this LOH fellow... He hacked into my e-mail and everyone else in my contact list is affected... Anyway the report now can only be kept for 3 days.. Coz i have to return it to the police as the state is going to charge him... So u want to see the report then i meet u somewhere convenient?

honestly, i still have some burning questions.

if it's merely hacking into Peter's e-mail account,
how did the fellow get Peter's girlfriend's handphone number?
how did he know what we were doing?
(Recap: The fellow sent those "doing project, love blossoms" nonsense to his girlfriend through web sms shortly after i sent the bogus-girlfriend email.)
why did the person choose to hack into my account?
how does he know my username and password through his hacking of Peter's e-mail account? doesn't make sense!

it's too much of a coincidence.
for this entire tale to be true, this fellow must be in the IT Lab 3 yesterday!
OH FREAK.
Peter does have a stalker if whatever he says about this LOH person is true.
but it's too drama leh! why would this person want to do something like this?!
i still find it hard to believe.

i really want to find out the truth.
but i want to bring this matter to a close too.

maybe i'll meet him.. maybe not.
we'll see.

2006-03-24T16:55:00.000+08:00

My Personal Dna Report

this is not like some random lame psychological test.
it's really extensive and in-depth.
worth your time even though it takes quite a while to complete.

2006-03-24T15:56:00.000+08:00

If you were a movie, you'd be a Romantic Comedy

What Kind of Movie Are You?

Brought to you by Tickle

2006-03-24T09:07:00.000+08:00

i ripped this off mx's blog. and she got it from her friend's.

In life, there are so many ups and downs, just like that of a roller coaster. There are so many things to attend to, to be bothered about, yet so little time to actually do them. So many things get us down yet nothing but love made us end up at the bottomless pit. You know its actually possible to love someone so much that it hurts physically? At the moment, overwhelmed with grief, u realised that it's ur body that can't take it, not just the mind. Sometimes I thought I have loved so much that I might just die. (Maybe I am just being stupid) That's really torturing. In the first place, love is supposed to be all about nurturing and healing the souls. So why .... why must all of us end up hurting?

What if someday, reality just speaks to you that your partner wasn't really meant for you? Maybe, being together is all about mere convenience and companionship? People just packed and leave when they want to, taking everything that they shared with you, not knowing or rather not caring that they do mean a lot to you. Why is it that people can tell me that they just stop loving someone completely and its impossible to go on? Why do people stray in a relationship when that is a total disrespect for their partners? Why is it that we always have to hurt those we had loved the best.

I am starting to find it hard to handle love. Looking at so many people in relationships around me, most of them have their fair share of griefs. (The rest of the minority are those bastards that have strayed) We put ourselves out there, trying to give our best, but end up battered and hurt. Is it because we trust too much... or maybe we choose to believe that it really will work out. What if you realised that ur partner dun really mean what he said, what you both had wanted the future to be like before walking to the end of the rope? What would you do? Would you leave or would you want to end up hurting?

Most would end up being hurt, as the case always is. All the time, we make it a constant reminder to be thankful that we have someone who truly wants to spend his/her life with us. We made ourselves go through that routine-liked counsel that we have to keep the faith, trust and desire so that everything will come along. But what if one day we have no choice but to face the stark reality: It's not about the faith, the trust or the desire. It's something else that is missing altogether. Something which we cannot quite figure it out at all.

Maybe to be strong is all about learning to let go. By letting go, we will be free. We will be able to judge clearly what exactly is in place for our already-complicated-enough life. A simple decision in a complicated life --- to let go.

i was feeling some of these things, which explains the dip in the mood of some of my previous entries.
but i guess, for me, the not-so-bad thing is that it's still too early to tell.
i was just being the usual paranoid and think-too-much girl that i am -
anticipating the future and predicting the lousy endings that may occur.
it's a way of protection, i feel.
maybe because i've hurt someone so deeply that i'm afraid of being hurt now.
maybe because i actually know how much i've hurt that someone.. so much so that it becomes frightening to think of what'd happen to me if i am the victim instead of the one who inflicts the hurt and pain.

(do you believe in karma?
i am unsure if i do..
but i feel i sway more towards to "yes" side.

if i do this to him, will another person do the same thing to me, just so that i get my deserved retribution?)

- anyway, i'm thinking of password-protecting my blog.

i don't feel comfortable revealing so much of my private life to irrelevant people.

it's really freaky.
because you never know who the people reading your blog are.
and i really do not wish for people to be reading me like a book.. and having this image (developed from the reading of my blog) in their mind when they interact with me in person.

diary is diary.
in person is in person.

i wouldn't say both are different.
but they aren't identical.

there are some feelings that i do not want to reveal to not-so-close-and-not-so-important people.
some feelings, some emotions and some thoughts that i have to keep private.

perhaps the next time you snoops come visiting, you'll have to rack your brains for the password to invade my privacy.

2006-03-22T10:49:00.000+08:00

i am very thankful and grateful for my extremely generous Accounting group mates.

thus far, i haven't contributed a single thing to the project though the report is 99% completed and due for submission tomorrow.

and they just told me that i don't even have to do up the entire powerpoint.
they just need me to collate and, add pictures and animations.

ohmy.
*faints. (due to happy reasons)

3 meetings; i attended twice.
the last and crucial one i couldn't go because of grandfather's birthday; so, i promised to do the report and powerpoint.
but apparently, they feel that i won't be able to articulate what they discussed since i weren't there.
so.. they did the report.
they also feel that it's better if we did up our own slides, and so, they are doing their individual slides.

and all i have to do is to compile and that's it.

honestly, i feel very guilty.
but very glad too, not because i've managed to escape from doing the project, but because i have such selfless people as group mates.

:)

*
i'm in the access lab now and am in between 2 fucking noisy guys.
i am damn irritated, as you can see.
can you imagine? i'm in the middle and the two guys cannot stop ~~talking~~raising their voice to each other,
so i'm like listening to Guy Left with my left ear and listening to Guy Right with my right ear.
they are both damaging my ear drums.
STUPID FOOLS.

2006-03-22T01:00:00.000+08:00

i've grown to realise that i am so affected because he means so much to me.
i want to protect him; to teach him; to give him; to love him - with all that i can, with all that i have.

and all i want is for him to hug me forever..
and whisper in my ears that he's forever mine, and i'm forever his.

2006-03-22T00:39:00.000+08:00

everything still appears so fuzzy.
i am still afraid of taking more steps.
i'm scared of falling down.

then, he reassures me.

i can only hope it's not momentarily.

i am just a stupid and naive girl.

2006-03-20T12:48:00.000+08:00

Byran Wong Yanli is the first Star Idol.
=)
and i'm damn happy for him!

not entirely because he's such a hunk.
not because i've been rooting for him.

but because i dislike Leo Lam.

to be fair, in my opinion, Leo is slightly better than Bryan in terms of their acting skills.
but i have never liked Leo.
in fact, he is an eye-sore.
i feel that he has this unlikeable face, mei you ren yuan de lian.

lol.

today's the 21st of March.
exams in less than a month's time.
scary.
but somehow, i feel at peace.
i feel confident that i will be ready for the upcoming exams.
(i hope this nice feeling lasts though. heh.)

2006-03-16T00:47:00.000+08:00

i know i'm slooooooow..
but this song is stuck in my head now.
love it very much!
NICE.

2006-03-15T01:35:00.000+08:00

thank god FM project is going to be a thing of the past soon.

i was so pissed with one of my group mates just now.
she was in-charge of the powerpoint since she didn't contribute much to the project itself.. but all she did was copy and paste from the report, WHOLESALE k.

argh, some people are just so irritating.

and she dare tell me she spent 7 hours on it!

i've just finished editing her nonsense. finally.
i spent the last 3 hours doing something that shouldn't have been in my agenda at all! stupid.

anyway, you can tell the quality of the powerpoint that she produced from the total number of slides.
a freaking 96 ok?!
madness.

some people are plain lazy and plain stupid.

i am hungry now.
i need maggie.
and i need a shower too.
it'd be 3am already by the time i can go to bed.

STUPID GIRL.

i haven't studied for this friday's Accounting test leh.

haha.
it's been long since i last went on and on and on, without having to think and without bothering to retrace what i wrote.
guess it's good to be like this sometimes.
:)

good ~~night~~morning.

2006-03-14T01:27:00.000+08:00

i haven't shown you photos of my one-day-Husky, Nika, yes?

(btw, Nika is the name that i gave her. It means born on Sunday, which is a fact. her birthday's on the 1st of January 2006! :))

i love her and MISS her very very much.

but i can't keep her, :'(
due to some legal issues, family objections and ultimately, for the well-being of the dog itherself.

so, now, Nika has resumed her original identity of Christine and given back to her rightful owner.

sigh.

2006-03-14T00:54:00.000+08:00

honestly,
sometimes, even if you do not perform as well as people expect of you,
it just takes others (me included, of course.) to believe in you.
and that's enough to see you through.

but still,
Adriano disappointed me today.
i was sad Yu Yang was out.

*
still don't know what to do.
still very uncertain and doubtful.

*
still struggling with studies.
boo.
~~PROCRASINATION~~MOTIVATION.

*
i love YouTube.
(let's relive the good memories, shall we?)

2006-03-12T00:53:00.000+08:00

have you ever wondered when is the hardest to acknowledge your mistake?

it is when you so stubbornly & adamantly insisted that you are absolutely right in the first place when everyone around you thought otherwise, so much so that even if you want to apologise and erase the mistake now, it becomes so so so hard to do so.

i do not wish to elaborate. so, please do not ask me about it. if you know, then just keep it in your heart. if you don't, then please, don't probe.
i guess, i'll talk about it when i really need someone to listen.

for now,
just let me be alone.
okay?

just give me more hugs, can?
i need them badly.
*HUGS.

i miss my rabbit.
i miss my Siberian husky, Nika.
:'(

2006-03-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

i watched Nanny Mcphee at Causeway Point yesterday.

love it very much.

(i don't like it that i'm always saying this movie is very nice, a must-watch, etc. i guess you readers are bored of such terms. haha.)

but still, it's nice la.

go catch it k?

When you need me, but do not want me, then I will stay. When you want me, but do not need me, then I have to go. - Nanny Mcphee

i want to be Nanny Mcphee.

2006-03-09T00:19:00.000+08:00

her name is hannah. NO! NO. no! no. no.. no? says:
who's that? who's going home?

ooi! says:
jk

her name is hannah. NO! NO. no! no. no.. no? says:
haha. is jk 'jie kai' or 'joking'? don't tell me jie kai is joking.

ooi! says:
HAHAHAHAHA

ooi! says:
jk = jie kai

ooi! says:
lol

ooi! says:
can also mean joking

ooi! says:
but for now, its jie kai

ooi! says:
hahaha

her name is hannah. NO! NO. no! no. no.. no? says:
hahaha yeah versatile.. hahaha okay

(a while later.)

i love my boyfriend. =) and he loves me because i seduced him with Mentos! LOL. - http://kevan.org/johari?name=Evelyn%20Ooi says:
try not to make it at 3?

i love my boyfriend. =) and he loves me because i seduced him with Mentos! LOL. says:
lol

i love my boyfriend. =) and he loves me because i seduced him with Mentos! LOL. says:
its quite off.

her name is hannah. NO! NO. no! no. no.. no? says:
haha

i love my boyfriend. =) and he loves me because i seduced him with Mentos! LOL. says:
as in the timing's neither here nor there

her name is hannah. NO! NO. no! no. no.. no? says:
haha yeah okay noted. haha.. cos morning ppl work la. then evening already so late. haha.. maybe we'll make it a weekend morning

i love my boyfriend. =) and he loves me because i seduced him with Mentos! LOL. says:
ya

i love my boyfriend. =) and he loves me because i seduced him with Mentos! LOL. says:
that sounds fabulous

i love my boyfriend. =) and he loves me because i seduced him with Mentos! LOL. says:
like that can still plan to do stuff in the afternoon

her name is hannah. NO! NO. no! no. no.. no? says:
haha like go out with some JoKer

i love my boyfriend. =) and he loves me because i seduced him with Mentos! LOL. says:
LOL

anyway, my FM group mates insist that i bluffed him (like a kid) with sweets.
and i played along and said that he likes Mentos.
heh.

2006-03-08T12:13:00.000+08:00

5 minutes into the movie, i was regretting, because, generally, i don't take a liking towards documentaries,
and i didn't know, beforehand, that Mad Hot Ballroom is one such film.

anyway, i decided that since the tickets are free-of-charge, i might as well enjoy it.
and a while more later, i really enjoyed the show.

honestly, it's not full-marks-fabulous, but it's nice.
a pretty heartwarming movie.
you actually do see the glow and spark and drive and desire of these kids to ballroom-dance and excel in the final competition.
and the best thing is that it is factual.
yup.

I WANT TO WATCH NANNY MCPHEE!

2006-03-07T18:02:00.000+08:00

Marketing project presentation was a huge success!
=)
very very very happy!

Wayne like our idea alot and gave really good comments and he ended off by saying Excellent!
heh.

one burden off the shoulders.

a few more to cope with.
Accounting project and practice assignment, Marketing case study, Statistics case study and FM quiz.

a little bit more. :)

ANYWAY, i won 2 tickets, courtesy of www.funkygrad.com to catch the premier of Mad Hot Ballroom this evening!
lol.
i'm getting luckier these days.
i think funkygrad loves me. this is the 2nd time i've won something!
or, maybe.. no one bothers to participate and a cheapo like me gets to benefit! LOL.
i read the reviews; apparently, it's good!
update on the movie soon.

2006-03-06T23:33:00.000+08:00

happy things.
today
ADRIANO ROCKED BIG TIME LA!
mm.. my anata.
*muacks muacks MUACKS.

Marketing presentation tomorrow.
:)
*crosses fingers.

2006-03-05T18:04:00.000+08:00

friendster blogs are lousy.
i tried posting a comment at shan's blog but can't go to the page somehow.

anyway, i just want to say that:
I'm really very very happy for you, shan.
:)
*hugs.

*
it's tough to keep a relationship.
it takes alot.
especially for one like mine.

sigh.

mei ban fan la.
shui jiao wo zi tao mei qu?

now, i can only remain hopeful.

2006-03-04T00:11:00.000+08:00

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.
But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.
You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.
You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting.
You focus on living a quality life.
You're not easily impressed with novelty.
Yet, you easily impress others.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

You Are Japanese Food

Strange yet delicious.
Contrary to popular belief, you're not always eaten raw.

What Kind of Food Are You?

2006-03-03T18:30:00.000+08:00

Dating Strengths	Dating Weaknesses
1. Open-Mindedness - 72.7% 2. Generosity - 66.7% 3. Kindness - 63.6% 4. Flirtiness - 62.5% 5. Financial Situation - 61.5%	1. Temper - 87.5% 2. Appearance - 66.7% 3. Lack of Essentials - 50% 4. Vanity - 50%

Dating Strengths Explained
Open-Mindedness - You are open to trying new things and entertaining new ideas, and this widens your pool of available guys. Generosity - You are a giving person by nature. Others will see this quality in you and recognize your kind nature. Take care not to let others take advantage of you. Kindness - You treat other people with empathy and goodwill. This positive trait helps you stand out and draw people into your warmth. Flirtiness - Flirting is a good way to break the ice, and you are a pro at it. Being flirtatious will open up many dating opportunities. Financial Situation - You've got your financial situation under control, which is a very desirable quality. Be careful to avoid guys who are only interested in your money.
Dating Weaknesses Explained
Temper - You need to work on controlling your temper. Don't let your anger get the best of you. A calm and rational persona is important when dating. Appearance - Devoting a greater effort at making good first impressions is a must. Try to be fit and develop a style if you want to catch a guy's attention. Lack of Essentials - Dating is difficult for you because you lack certain key things, which may include private space, a car, money, or a nice wardrobe. Work toward obtaining these essentials! Vanity - Learn to put a lower priority on looks. Appearance is, of course, important, but vanity is undesireable. The only people you will attract are the superficial.
Take the Dating Strengths and Weaknesses Quiz

2006-03-03T11:16:00.000+08:00

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as strong willed and stubborn.

Overall, your true self is moody and dynamic.

With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react.

In love, you seem mysterious and interesting.

In stressful situations, you seem selfish and moody.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

You Are The Lovers

You represent ideal love: innocence, trust, exhilaration and joy.
You demonstrate the harmony of opposites, two sides coming together.
At times, you also represent the struggle between what is right and what is tempting.
Control is an issue for you, especially when you don't know your reasons for choosing something.

Your fortune:

You have an important choice you need to make about love, and it will be a difficult choice to make.
You are likely struggling between the love you crave and the love that is right.
In the end, you will choose what you crave, even if it's bad for you.
Because without what you crave, you will feel empty and incomplete.

What Tarot Card Are You?

Your IQ Is 110

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius

Your General Knowledge is Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

You Should Learn Japanese

You're cutting edge, and you are ready to delve into wacky Japanese culture.
From Engrish to eating contests, you're born to be a crazy gaijin. Saiko!

What Language Should You Learn?

What Your Underwear Says About You

You have a lucky pair of underwear. And you wear it more than you should.

You're comfortable in your own skin - and don't care to impress anyone.

The Underwear Oracle

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:

Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor
Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have medium extroversion.
You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.
Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.
But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."

Conscientiousness:

You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.

Agreeableness:

You have low agreeableness.
Your self interest comes first, and others come later, if at all.
In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted.
And you're skeptical that anyone else really feels differently.

Neuroticism:

You have high neuroticism.
It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed.
You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully.
You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is medium.
You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.
But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.
You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

You Are 57% Addicted to Love

Might as well face it, you're addicted to love.
You've been a fool for love many times - but are you the wiser for it?
Your needs should come first, both in and out of relationships.
Because you're the only one who can look out for yourself!

Are You Addicted to Love?

Your Outrageous Name is:

Mary Wanna

Outrageous Name Generator

Your Monster Profile

Ultima Slimer

You Feast On: Pie

You Lurk Around In: The Empire State Building

You Especially Like to Torment: Hairdressers

What's Your Monster Name?

Your Hawaiian Name is:

Alana Palila

What's your Hawaiian Name?

2006-03-03T00:08:00.000+08:00

these girls are craZy!!!
LOL.

and these boys are back, with Tong Hua.
btw, i realise that this lip-sync nonsense becomes boring after a while, so take a look only if you're too bo liao. lol.

6 weeks to exams. boo.
7 weeks to 3-months-freedom. yay!
haha.
ooo.. so exciting la!

but i want to take an elective module during the special semester,
which means that i will still be going back to school and will have to take the exam, but it'll be far more relaxed and definitely more enjoyable.

loads of projects on hand now.
very very busy.

lala.
haha.
baba.
fafa.
mama.
okay, i'm rambling already.

off to bed!

2006-03-01T11:53:00.000+08:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Evelyn Ooi!

Evelyn Ooi is actually a vegetable, not a fruit.
Bees visit over three million flowers to make a single kilogram of Evelyn Ooi!
Fish travel in schools, but whales travel in Evelyn Ooi.
It is impossible to fold Evelyn Ooi more than seven times.
Abraham Lincoln, who invented Evelyn Ooi, was the only US president ever granted a patent.
Koalas sleep for 22 hours a day, two hours more than Evelyn Ooi.
In Eastern Africa you can buy beer brewed from Evelyn Ooi.
Evelyn Ooi is the oldest playable musical instrument in the world.
Julius Caesar wore a laurel wreath to cover up Evelyn Ooi!
Half a cup of Evelyn Ooi contains only seventeen calories!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Ooi Siang Ting Evelyn!

All shrimp are born as Ooi Siang Ting Evelyn, but gradually mature into females!
The Australian billygoat plum contains a hundred times more Vitamin C than Ooi Siang Ting Evelyn.
If your ear itches, this means that someone is talking about Ooi Siang Ting Evelyn!
Ooi Siang Ting Evelyn has a bifurcated penis.
You would have to dig through four thousand kilometres of Ooi Siang Ting Evelyn to reach the earth's core!
The average human spends about 30 days during their life in Ooi Siang Ting Evelyn.
It's bad luck for a flag to touch Ooi Siang Ting Evelyn!
Ooi Siang Ting Evelyn can eat up to four kilograms of insects in a single night!
It can take Ooi Siang Ting Evelyn several days to move just through one tree.
The only Englishman to become Ooi Siang Ting Evelyn was Nicholas Breakspear, who was Ooi Siang Ting Evelyn from 1154 to 1159.

LOL.
mm. this is fun!!! =)

2006-02-26T23:20:00.000+08:00

HMPH.
it's no fair.

i don't like the ren qi pai ming thing that SuperHost has incorporated in its decision of the final winner.

Lee Teng is good what.
he deserves to be the SuperHost;
the one with the 50K in his pockets, the one with the very stylish Renault, and, definitely, the one with the title of Chao Ji Zhu Chi Ren.

no fair.

bleah.

nevertheless,
i am so very proud of this Accountancy senior.

i think he rocks.
(though he really looks like a hua huai le de man hua. LOL.)

2006-02-23T10:38:00.000+08:00

Ooi Siang Ting Evelyn --

[noun]:

A master of storytelling

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

2006-02-23T09:52:00.000+08:00

I'm nobody's child
Just like the flowers
I am growing wild
I've got no mummy's kisses
I've got no daddy's smile
Nobody wants me
I'm nobody's child

2006-02-20T13:18:00.000+08:00

it's difficult to go on hiatus for long la.
i will never go on hiatus again. if i ever want to stop blogging for a while, i'll just disappear.
no notice whatsoever.
because
talk is cheap.

honestly,
i am sick of myself, going on and on about how i'm going to get my studies back on track but not doing anything concrete about it.

because
talk is (once again) cheap.

i was at Impresario 2006 last Sat.
for a mere $10, it was mind-blowing.
so many interesting and very entertaining performances.
Lee Teng was one of the duo who hosted - i like him! he had me in stitches several times that night and i think he is so versatile and wacky.
i'm going to vote for him this coming SuperHost finals.
i knew he is from NTU, but didn't know that he is from Accountancy!
lol.
all the more i should support him, yes?

this is the only picture i have of the event: (Kelly and Junyang were guest performers)

had Ben and Jerry's after that.

(small fact: there was this uncle in this photo; he's behind the B&J's logo that i've added. LOL.)

my msn nick reads: recess - my last chance.
today is Monday, first day of my recess week.
it's 1.35pm now and i've not done anything constructive at all.
therefore, i got to run now.
first up, Financial Management.

i need all the strength and willpower i can summon.

good luck, Evelyn.

ohyes,
if there's one thing to be happy about,
i got an A for class participation for Accounting 1.
nice.
at least, however (very) behind schedule i am for studies,
i haven't had to do any assessed-and-graded-and-included-in-final-grade assignments, except the Accounting quiz and class participation.

2006-02-18T11:00:00.000+08:00

thank you so much, girls - dee, hannah, tab, shir and shan. :)
*hugs tight.
honestly, if you'd asked me 3 years back, when i just entered Pioneer JC, if i think i'll meet any good friends who i can keep for life, i'd be very hesistant and would most likely say no.
but i'm glad i met you girls in Pioneer.
you added a whole lot of colours to my life and really changed me very much, as a person.
thank you!
*HUGS.

and Patrick oh,
you are still the bestest bestest find of my life.
you are and will always be someone very important to Evelyn Ooi. *HUGS.
thank you for the book.
i love it alot!
hopefully, one day, when we grow old, we can use this book and travel around the world. ;)

yeeyee, thankyou for the book too!!!

2006-02-15T10:57:00.000+08:00

HIATUS.

i need time off to do something to my school work, to salvage the mess that i've single-handedly created.
everything is so horrible now.
i feel so unhappy.
what's wrong.
where's the spirit?
how do i handle the huge amount of overdue work that awaits me, cope with the new things that the lecturers are teaching, and handle upcoming projects, all at the same time?
i cannot breathe.
sigh.

i will return once i manage to stop behaving so irresponsibly with regards to studies.

2006-02-14T10:16:00.000+08:00

i know i've said this countless times.
i, myself, am thoroughly sick and tired of hearing the same things over and over again.

all talk, but no action.

it's 61 days to my first exam paper.
exactly 2 months.

i've been slacking like shit for the past 1 and a half months.
and this is no good at all.

uncompleted tutorials, absent days from school, undone revision.

i did not have the mood to put my heart into studying.
but now, i'm going to cultivate that spirit, regardless of whatever.
because, although i'll be very happy with Bs and maybe an A or two, my progress now is not going to give me the bare minimum, and i'll probably have to re-take some modules if i continue behaving like this.

the first thing that i'll do now is to sit through this afternoon's self-revision for Accounting, in preparation for tomorrow's quiz.
and if i manage to do so, successfully,
then i will have the spirit and confidence to march on.

2006-02-13T21:38:00.000+08:00

he ended work in the evening of 11th Feb, so we just made do with a simple dinner and a Swensen's Cookies&Cream ice-cream cake.

but he made up for it and brought me to Sentosa on 12th Feb.
:)

cable car to Sentosa.

fort siloso.

exciting chairlift!

The Sentosa Luge; FUN & FABULOUS!

Chill out time.

before the Southernmost tip of the Asia Continent.

Inside the Merlion.

onboard the Carlsberg Sky Tower.

beautiful, isn't it?

now i am 20 and feeling very old.

SIGH.
i feel i've aged alot at a fast rate these 2-3 years.
photos don't lie, yes?

i am OLD.

2006-02-11T09:50:00.000+08:00

look who sent me a birthday greeting!
LOL.

2006-02-11T01:00:00.000+08:00

Happy 20th Birthday to ME!
lala.
i am 20 + 1 hour years old now.

About him and the gifts from him

trust me fully when i say that he isn't romantic, at all.
he's really the extreme kind,
and is hopeless at catching the most obvious hints.
and he pissed me off big-time by being the block of wood he had been.

but i was showered by so many gifts and so much love today,
that i'm still feeling very warm in the heart,
and hereby declare that
i am a happy ~~little~~old girl.

he has the other half that reads: Two hearts

he says that this is him wishing me a happy birthday..

and these are HIS legs. LOL. i like his legs more; cuter. heh.

anyway, i forced him to let me open my Valentine's Day present (that he bought at the same time) NOW.
he says no.
i threw the key chain on the bed and said: "okay, then i don't want this already."
(in case you're wondering, i didn't throw the trinklet box because it is fragile. lol. and i can't possibly throw "him" away, right? haha.)

HAHA. and so, he didn't have a choice.

i opened the present, slowly..
because he had it wrapped in a lovely gift wrapper.

and i saw this the moment i opened the box; and my heart melted:

so sweet! i love! :)

and he says that he likes the flowers,
because ~~the boy~~he was holding the flowers at the back, trying to hide them.
he thinks that it's very sweet.
you know, guy buys girl flowers, but want to give her a surprise kindof thing.
heh.

i am really touched.
teeheehee.

2006-02-10T20:54:00.000+08:00

i received my very first 20th birthday present today.
:)

from the loveliest friend Mixue.

who i still feel awkward meeting up with. lol.
it's really weird how we aren't close but can share so many many things with one another and feel at ease totally.

*hugs.

she always gives the most meaningful gifts.

thankyou precious.

you know i'll just be very happy with a hand-made card.
and a gift from the heart.

2006-02-10T20:19:00.000+08:00

there're so many things i want to talk about today.

couldn't take it anymore and broke down during Accounting lecture when i was talking to Huiwen.
though it occurred during lecture, no, it isn't about studies.

it's about Jie Kai.

i'm not going to go into the details.
in short, i was just very sick and tired of his aloofness; unintentional, i know.
he loves me.
just that he doesn't show it.
he's those kind of guy who feels that he'll always have the time tomorrow to love me, and to accompany me,
so when he's tired, he just sleeps.
doesn't bother if i'm alone or what.

and i'm pissed at that.

he can just talk to me one second and fall asleep the next. i swear i'm not exaggerating.
and it's frustrating, you know.
one moment he's talking, the next he keeps completely quiet and bounces into lala land.

secondly,
i cannot get along with his family.
they do not like me.
ESPECIALLY HIS BLOODY BITCH SISTER.
FUCK HER MAN, SERIOUSLY.
fucking bitch.
(i didn't blog about this, but she scolded me jian nu ren that day. IN FRONT OF ME okay. fucker. AND I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING AT ALL. she just doesn't like me.)
btw, she's 18 this year.
BITCH.

know what's the worst thing?
her father, Jie Kai's dad, was there when she scolded me.
and he didn't scold her for that.

WTF.
really.
he lost my respect that instant.

HELLO?

is this how you TEACH (do you even TEACH her in the first place?!) your daughter?

it's all about fucking lousy upbringing.

i dare say my parents and even grandparents won't allow me to say or do anything this rude to GUESTS.
(jk's dad invited me, AND HIS LONG-TIME FRIENDS, over for CNY dinner that day.)
can you imagine how humiliated i was?
in front of everyone.

everyone thought i am the big bad girl who wants to cause trouble and break up the family.

everyone thought i was at fault because she started crying and screaming and throwing stupid, childish tantrums.
just because she couldn't stand that her own brother was standing on my side, helping me.

i mean, come on la.
i didn't even do anything to her
and the moment she came home, (i was in Jie Kai's room)
she referred to me as na ke nu ren (that woman).

FUCKING ILL-MANNERED BITCH.

and she scolded me jian nu ren! damn pissed.

on top of those 2 already-very-frustrating-things, this morning, my dad talked to me about Jie Kai and my relationship with him.

he feels that we shouldn't be together.
he said alot.
really alot.

and i felt damn lousy after listening.

he just went on and on,
and i just kept thinking about what he said.
wondering if i really made the wrong decision to leave Vincent, someone i've been with for FIVE years.

went for lecture.
and Huiwen and I were talking.
she was asking: "So what do you want for your birthday, other than the things you mentioned on your blog?"

whispering, and tears rolling, i replied: "I just want to be happy."

i couldn't control my tears.
i kept thinking if i was wrong to be with Jie Kai.

to be honest, he's the total opposite of my dream guy.

we talked after my lesson ended.
and he really appeared very very sorry.
(i hope he is.)

anyway, things resume.
and we're happy again.
in fact, very very happy.
he sayangs me alot today.

but time will tell, yes?

whether it's a correct or wrong decision.
(i just remember Huiwen always telling me that there's no right or wrong in relationships. Vincent always says so too.)

(now, i know the cons of a public blog. it's so difficult to talk about private issues like this. i do not want the whole world to read about my love life.)

anyhow, heck la.
whoever cares.
i am pissed that i've to restrict myself, in this "supposed" avenue of ventilation.

i'm just glad that things are back on track.
and the feelings that i initially felt so strongly are coming back again. :)

it takes time, i guess.
it's undeniable that we got together early, without knowing one another well.
which explains why we're having such problems now.
it takes time to know one another, yes?

i shall be positive that the good things will come ;)

2006-02-08T20:49:00.000+08:00

realise that i haven't been posting photos for quite some time already.
and i know all of you miss my pretty face. haha.
:)

my dearest!

i like this photo alot; me, Kelyn and Emilia.

with Jie Kai.

so awwwwwwwwww. sweet. heh.

the babes.

CNY at Mr Tan's house.

dee, shir, me and tab. =)

my baobei!

I'm trying to imitate my little sister's (Emilia's) smile. lol. so act cute right? LOL.

2006-02-08T11:07:00.000+08:00

i think it's time i sit down and work things out;
and decide what i want to achieve at the end of this semester.

actually, to be honest, i just want average grades.
i will be happy to maintain my GPA of 3.1, though, of course, i hope to get lucky and get better grades.

i am very very tired of studying.

but i don't look forward to working life either.
suddenly, it's hard to see myself as an Accountant in one of the Big Four firms or other companies.

things are far too tedious, stressful and mundane.

i want to work in a vibrant and lively environment where i get to see new things often.

in some ways, i guess i've made a wrong move in doing Accountancy, as much as it fits my personality to be one.

because the other part of me hopes that i'm involved in the Arts.

i can't imagine doing debit credit debit credit and MORE debit credit every single day of work.
i will DIE.

ahh.

i want to cry.
:'(

(why am i not doing Stats tutorials and not paying attention during Stats tutorial?)

(actually, why am i not motivated to do all tutorials?)

:(

i just read a senior's blog last night.
he shared a really heartwarming story.

My mum came back from work yesterday evening and she found a bag with two madarin orange hanging on my door handle.

She asked both my brother and i if we knew who did the act. Then my brother said he saw an old lady walked past earlier.

Both my mum and i had a sudden realization who this old lady is.
She is an old hunched back old lady who lives in my neighbourhood and we got to know her because she comes to us for used old newspaper to sell regularly.
She always comes with a trolley and my mum would save our newspaper for us while i would help by loading the newspaper onto her trolley.

It must be her. It could not be anyone else.

And the recurrent thought of the act just sent me a wave of feelings while i was eating my dinner and my eyes went wet liaoz.
Am i crazy or wat? i doubt i am.

I tell u how i felt at that time.

Do u realise most of us are just caught up with our material pursuits, like mugging like crazy for our quizzes or racking our brains on how to impress during presentations and forgot the little things in life?

What my mum and i did was so insignficant to most people, just saving our newspapers and helping her out.
I dun even think i would list the act as the most signficant thing done on a particular day.

Yet the fact that this old lady went the distance of giving us madarin orange during New Year shows her little appreciation of my family.

It is not about the orange.
It's about the act.

What may seems insignficant to us may mean a whole lot to others.

I am touched by this old lady's small token and it made me kinda emotional.
It makes me very appreciative of the small things around me and made me slow down my pace to think about things beside school, money etc.

I have been taught a lesson on life.
Probably a lesson cannot be learnt in NTU.

In this new year forget how much hongbao money u have received or if u are going to win the 10 million dollars Toto.

I am bestowed the most valuable new year gift.

Hope all of you would be inspired by my this little story.

so sweet!

but it sucks to know that this behaviour will never ever ever be spotted in the Accounting industry.

anyhow, now's no time to think about all these.
it has become a fact that i've chosen Accountancy,
and i should concentrate on managing my studies,
instead of dwelling on the things that cannot be changed, in the short run anyway.

2006-02-08T10:55:00.000+08:00

i really like this post by kennysia - The Four Stages of Life.

2006-02-07T15:06:00.000+08:00

rule 1: state five weird or random things about yourself

#1 I absolutely love Thai cuisine, especially Mango salad and Tom Yam soup.

#2 When I get really determined and decide that I want to study hard, I must spend at least a full hour planning my study time-table, and amazingly not getting tired of perfecting the lines of the self-drawn calender and using different colours to decorate it, before starting my formal revision. Since I'm on this point, I'm a siao perfectionist, not so much mentally anymore, but with regards to physical things, very much still. lol.

#3 (continuation of #2) Believe it or not, I try to minimise any language errors, even on my blog and in sms-es.
I always wonder if anyone else blogs like I do - Blog, Ensure that spellings are accurate and sentences sound correct, Read the entry once through, then Publish post. HAHA.

#4 It means very very very much to me when people show that they appreciate me or they remember me and what I do. I tend to remember them for a long time.

#5 I love going to supermarkets, and secretly wish that I am a housewife shopping for my little and cosy and warm family.

rule two: the five people whom you want to do this
Dionne, Hannah, Mixue, Huiyee and David

~~rule three: leave a comment 'you are tagged' on their blogs and ask them to read your blog for rules~~
from me onwards, there won't be anymore rule three. haha. because i say so.

2006-02-06T22:34:00.000+08:00

actually,
come to think of it,
there're things i want.

i've loved Echo Woman Davidoff since i received its sample some time back.
:))))

i wouldn't mind a nice Tiffany and Co. bracelet or necklace, though it sounds a bit far-fetched that i'll receive it.
lol.

out of my books list,
there's one that i really really really want to own - 1,000 Places to See Before You Die by Patricia Schultz.
it's a little steep though. $40, i still remember.

i am planning to go to Hong Kong some time later this year.
so some monetary support will be much appreciated as well.

that's about it. :)

2006-02-06T22:05:00.000+08:00

i haven't been online for a while.
i enjoyed CNY; but as always, time flies when you're having fun.
it flew by so fast i am dreading every single day of school.
in fact, i don't have the mood for studies.

i'm hitting the BIG 2-0 this Saturday.
i'm really excited!
lol.

but i guess i'll feel the total opposite when reality hits me that i've grown OLDer and i'll never be the age that starts with a 1 anymore,
and time will fly even faster, and i'll grow old even faster.

but for now,
i still hope for Feb 11 to come soon.

i was contemplating if i should draw up a wishlist this year,
but decided against it.
i enjoy surprises more.
:)
and besides, honestly, i really do not have anything on my mind off hand; nothing that i am really dying to own.

just don't get me any display ornaments k.
lol.

2006-01-27T13:27:00.000+08:00

seriously, this is the best blonde joke i've ever read!

when you've finished laughing,
check this out: the crystal ball is amazing!!!
this thing is INSANE!
and freaky.

2006-01-27T12:36:00.000+08:00

i was listening to Class 95 in my dad's cab when he was fetching me to school this morning.
for those who aren't aware, Harvey Norman has been sponsoring this very fun game. from what i know, it has been on since last year.

anyway, the game goes like this:
the deejays set a category, eg. Colours.
the game starts with the DJ reading off his list of 8 items, starting from the 1st one on his list, eg. Blue.
if the item falls within the category, which is true for this case, then the participant has to repeat after the DJ.
he/she must say: Blue.

if the participant is successful in classifying the item, the game continues and the second item is read, eg. Red.
so, the participant must say: Blue, Red - reciting the items from the very first one.

and, if the third item the DJ says is Dog (which obviously is NOT a colour), the participant must say: Blue, Red, Harvey Norman.

in the series of 8 items, there will be 2 Harvey Normans.

and the game continues and the participant wins the accumulated cash money if he/she successfully classifies the 8 items.
so, his/her final answer will be something like this: Blue, Red, Harvey Norman, Yellow, Pink, Harvey Norman, Green, Black.
(of course, the actual category isn't so easy!)

anyway, back to when i was on the cab listening to the proceedings of the contest.
the accumulated cash money was $650 this morning.

and when i heard the category for today, my jaws dropped.
Animals in the Chinese Zodiac.
SO DAMN BLOODY EASY la.

honestly, i do not wish to condemn the contestant.
but she really disappointed me, big time.

the first one on the list was Rat.
the second one was Dog.
and the third one the DJ read was OX.
and the contestant happily answered: Rat, Dog, HARVEY NORMAN.

*faints. really.

this category is sucha giveaway and she could get it wrong.
bleah.
she is a Chinese btw.

alrighty.
end of story.
i need to go complete my tutorials now so that i can enjoy Chinese New Year peacefully and happily. :)

ohyes, Huiwen and I were talking about how much we miss the annual CNY celebrations that we had in school in the past.
now that we're in Uni, there's no more whatever whatever celebrations.
they just give you the holidays and that's it.
so unhappening.

i miss JC.

2006-01-27T00:37:00.000+08:00

what's wrong with my body?
boo.
after giddiness, i'm having sore throat now.
bleah.

but it's okay.
:)
doesn't dampen my mood.
i'm still very looking forward to CNY :) :)
heh.
2 more days leh!!!
haha.

i want to get well soon, so that i don't have to abstain from the goodies during CNY.
i want to clear my face of pimples and blemishes, before Sat.
i want a french manicure and french pedicure, but my nails are short and they suck. :P breaking like shit. but then again, i don't think there's any available slot anymore.
i want slim and slender arms and beautiful legs. i hate my flabby arms and fatty legs. BIG BOO.
i want 48kg! BOO.

i miss you, Vincent Ooi!

lalala.

damn high.
haha.

ohyes, i'm not giving tuition anymore.
what's new, seriously?
hahaha.

i'm going to officially retire from tuition-giving.
firstly, i get sick of teaching.
secondly, i don't like it if i am aware that the parents are paying for my unprofessional-and-anyhow-humtum-teaching; it's like i'm cheating their money.
lastly, i don't think i can handle the responsibility of managing a child's education.

anyhow, i am happy and stress-free now that i don't have to teach tuition.
haha.

Vincent just told me that i'm immature.
bleah.
stupid rabbit.

2006-01-25T10:57:00.000+08:00

i'm having a serious case of giddiness and it's irritating me like mad. :(

curls for the CNY. :)

i'm blogging for the sake of blogging. :(

CNY in 3 days time - Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Sunday 12midnight CNY. :)

i'm having Stats tutorial now but i'm not concentrating because i didn't do my tutorial. :(

i took Stats in JC, so i can afford to slack a little. :) lol.

2006-01-22T10:29:00.000+08:00

I Not Stupid Too starts its run on 26th Jan, but i managed to catch the midnight preview yesterday at Lot 1.

just as other JTeam productions, i teared.
hah.
but pardon me, 'cause i am an emo.

it was funny at some parts and heartwarming at others, but it didn't tickle or impact me as much as i expected it to,
so, perhaps with high expectations, it wasn't very good.
but to be fair,
it was good, just right; worth the ticket price i guess, but can be better.

but i really like the movie's tagline.
When was the last time someone praised you? When was the last time you praised someone?

as i've said, and always agree, so many times,
we all need to learn to be appreciative towards the people around us.

it really doesn't hurt or take us alot to say thank you or praise them or just acknowledge their efforts.
it just takes a little effort but it might be life-changing (not exaggerating definitely) for some.

sometimes,
we really really take things for granted.
and i admit i am guilty, as much as i try not to do so.

and ironically, it's the loved ones who are the closest to us that suffer from our aloofness the most;
perhaps because they are so close to us that:
we are so comfortable with them that we don't care,
we assume that they know we love them anyway,
we thought they won't be upset with us because they understand that we don't actually mean it if we hurt them.

in another light,
the movie also made me realise that we tend to condemn people's flaws, more than praise their talents.
and, i'm even more guilty of this.

i still remember my friend's entry.

..but it would be nice if people stopped telling me how .. inadequate I am.

-shrugs. Kinda hurts sometimes.

wouldn't it be nice if we receive more praises, not so much that we get arrogant of course, so that we have confidence to correct our flaws and achieve greater things as well?

sometimes, we are really too critical.
i'm sure all of us can be a little more forgiving and optimistic, yes?

When was the last time someone praised you? When was the last time you praised someone?

2006-01-21T14:03:00.000+08:00

one more week to the Chinese New Year.
i agree with Huiwen; it's my favourite festive season of all too! :)

actually, collecting ang baos aside, i really enjoy the reunion dinner on the eve of CNY and the buzz about the entire festival.
it's the people and the hype that i'm really looking forward to.
and the catching up with the people that we normally do not have time to spend with.

heh. i can't wait!
:)

and i did my very first DIY dye job yesterday.
now my hair's a new blend of red and black.
i like!
and it costs me a mere $10.90 and one hour to complete the job (:

i'm feeling very happy and high now.

everything in my life's kindof on track.
i just need to catch up on school work. (i will.)
and i'm ushering the New Year with a blast.

ohyes, the jigsaw is completed.
we're getting the frame later and it'll be up on my wall in no time.
and we're getting our couple's watches too.

ohmy.
so many things to look forward to!

take good care, everyone!
drink lots of water, catch enough sleep and cover your blankets tight.
all of us want to usher the New Year with health, yes?
*MUACKS.
love you guys alot.

2006-01-20T01:00:00.000+08:00

i just realise the power of Friendster,
and how amazing it is.

you never know Singapore is this small.

lol.

2006-01-17T13:00:00.000+08:00

i just read a friend's blog.

..but it would be nice if people stopped telling me how .. inadequate I am.

-shrugs. Kinda hurts sometimes.

i can feel exactly how she feels as i read the words out loud.

-
suddenly,
i can't blog.

i can't articulate my thoughts anymore.

i am confused.

i didn't change, right?

or did i?

2006-01-17T12:35:00.000+08:00

imagine my shock when i opened my mailbox and found Mr Tan BK's email notification that he has a BLOG!

lol.

i couldn't wait to click on the link immediately!

check it out at tbkmaths (at) blogspot
(i won't link it directly; wouldn't want him to find my blog through bloglines or technorati.)

it's like getting to know another side of him.
lol.
although it's supposedly a Math site, intended for us to Learn Maths with TBK (the title of his blogsite! LOL. so lame and cliche la!),
the entries that he has posted so far are not really Math-related,
so they are very fun to read. :)

2006-01-13T12:32:00.000+08:00

i am truly happy with my now-him.

but i still miss my ex-him and think of the times we shared.
it's magical and really nice that he understands me so thoroughly that whatever i do, i don't owe him any explainations and he'll still be accepting and tolerant because he just knows, and understands.

i'm not having regrets; and even if there is any, it's minimal.
but i just want to blog, to remember my feelings and thoughts at this very moment.

how are you?
take care k.

2006-01-12T12:13:00.000+08:00

i hate rainy days.

my nose is running like a tap, that won't stop running.

and i'm cold and hungry.

and i still have to give tuition later tonight. :(
btw, i wonder how long i can last for this tuition assignment.
lol.
to be honest, i feel really pressurised.
this girl is from Raffles Girls Primary and her mom is a kindergarten teacher-cum-ex-(very good)-tutor!
so stressed la!

i'm going to cook maggie mee now.

2006-01-12T12:08:00.000+08:00

i am frustrated.

i can't understand those people who are nice only when you are of use to them, and ignore you like you are so insignificant when you are of no use anymore, and then flatter you again when you are of use again.

very irritating.

2006-01-11T11:40:00.000+08:00

apparently, my friends who decided to go on hiatus decided to come back. =)
heh.

one can't stay away from blogging for long, yes?
it's too good an avenue to vent frustrations and boost happiness.

we bought a 2000 pieces jigsaw puzzle yesterday! :)))
it's damn cute with the Disney babies napping on a day bed in the backyard of a house.

i'm sure we'll complete it soon - the moment we reached home last night, we started on it and couldn't stop till it was time for him to catch the last train.
and i continued till 3am in the morning!
(no prizes for guessing where i'll be heading to after lessons at 12.30pm - ohyes, i'm having Stats lesson in the IT lab now. btw my tutor's a Thai! heh.)

he bought me The Chronicles of Narnia too! (:

and you know what?
i'm really happy now.
very very happy.

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

he isn't borned romantic and sweet; in fact, he's very practical, (typical of a Taurus)
but he makes me happy with his practical and unconventional ways.

i know i'm damn mushy la k.
heh.

but still.
lol.

2006-01-10T03:05:00.000+08:00

just came back from the movies.
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe was very very very good.
in Singlish terms, can fight with King Kong.

BOY i have to get the books!!
just did a search and realise that the movie is only based on 1 out of the 7 titles that C.S. Lewis wrote.

oooo.. i'm making a trip to Popular or probably Kino soon! heh.

anyway, this was supposed to be a happy entry about a movie double date with Kelyn & Guo Xing.
but my mom has to spoil everything good.

you know how some things grow to be more and more against you if you try to exert too much force.
unfortunately, for my mom specifically, i am one of those.
boohoo, just too bad for you, mother dearest (supposedly).

i don't understand why she has to be so stubborn and headstrong on this small, insignificant thing.

i'm tired of her.
there is a limit to everything.

i'm positive i'm not asking for much.
but why has she got to be such a bitch?

but it's okay.
she'll get a taste of her own medicine one of these days, i'm sure.

and she'll see for herself, with her own eyes, that Jie Kai and I are not just having a fling.
and i welcome anyone who doubts us to join her too.

i'm fuming mad.
but i'm going to turn this anger into a useful, instead of a detrimental, force.

i am going to save more than ever.
so that i can leave this ~~home~~house soon.
as soon as i can.
fast.

we are very much in love,
and nothing or no one is going to change that.
(i'm very very sorry i have to say this) but not even her, who gave birth to me.

don't blame me.
you made me behave this way.
you made me want to detest you like this.
you made stand on the side opposing you.

honestly, i despise you.
ask yourself what you've done la.
and if you have truly done your part as a mother.
remember: respect is earned; not taken for granted.

i love you, baobei.
thankyou for standing by me, through her nonsense, and not being angry with her at all and taking it in your stride though she is treating you in such an aloof manner.
really, i take my hat off you.
:)
*muacks.

ohyes, btw, i'm coming back, stronger than ever.
sorry to disappoint you.
hah.

2006-01-09T11:18:00.000+08:00

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the colour of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So, why's the groom wearing black?"

lol.
why do people always have the notion that Marriage = Death = End of everything-good = Start of everything-bad for males?

2006-01-08T12:37:00.000+08:00

i guess one does get tired of blogging.
no wonder so many people are going on hiatus.

maybe i would too.

2006-01-05T23:52:00.000+08:00

Is it so unbelievable that Evelyn is together with a relatively younger person whose educational level and future career do not coincide with hers? Discuss.

2006-01-04T02:22:00.000+08:00

i think i am ugly.
and i'm sad i'm ugly.

i sincerely hope that my children are beautiful, with pretty face shapes and sharp noses and without ugly birthmarks (read: moles).
:)

first day of school was like that lor.

i want to be educated and i want to learn.
i sincerely believe that learning is a very meaningful life-long process.
after graduation, i want to learn what i am truly interested in.

but i don't want to be an over-achiever, anymore.

i just want to be pass my exams comfortably and
graduate and
get a job that pays reasonably well and
get married and
give birth to kids when i'm financially sound and stable (though the idea turns me off at the moment; but somehow, i believe that this'll change) and
live happily and merrily with my family.

my priority will be my family, not my career, anymore.

i've changed. my mindset has changed.
i no longer desire for the things that i've yearned so much for since i was in Secondary 1.
i no longer want to do extremely very well.

i just want to do well.
and that's it.

i no longer desire to reach the top of the ladder.
i will be easily contended midway.

of course i want to earn as much as i can so that i will have the money to enjoy life and be worries-free.
but that desire will stop as soon as it affects my personal life.

i feel happy just thinking about my future life.
i'm sure it'll be a blast.
:)

2006-01-03T11:14:00.000+08:00

Your future with Taurus the Bull (April 21 to May 21)

Taurus is one of your best matches. That's due in part to your genuine admiration for the Bull's unwavering dedication to their beliefs and values. You also seem to be tolerant of a Taurean's sometimes annoying tendency to be critical of those who don't measure up to their lofty expectations. To you, that trait probably seems like a small price to pay in contrast to all the other positive qualities that a Taurus has to offer. Because of this feeling, it's clear you could indeed find true love with a Taurus.

You'll probably recognize potential Taurus partners by their ingratiating manners or by the way that they'll search for almost any opportunity to lavishly entertain you. The Bull loves to live a life of style and will often be drawn to social events where the focus is on pleasure and plenty. Your own love of the good life will put you in good stead with a Taurus mate. That's true whether the two of you are going out on the town or staying in for a romantic candlelit dinner. You're the type of person who seems well suited to exploring the subtle nuances of everyday pleasures along with your Taurus partner.

When a Taurus sets their mind to something, there is little that can budge them. It's no coincidence that the animal that symbolizes Taurean people is the stubborn bull. The upside to this character trait is that your Taurus will almost always be a loyal and faithful partner whose devotion rarely falters; Taureans are some of the least wishy-washy people in the zodiac. When a Taurus says they're going to do something, it's as good as done. You're the kind of individual who can genuinely appreciate this resolve and strength of will. In fact, a Taurean's ability to stick to a stated course of action can act as a great source of security for you.

Taurean stubbornness is nothing you can't handle, though. When the two of you disagree on something and the Bull starts to dig in its heels, you're one who can usually hold your own in the ensuing argument. Taureans don't mean to be difficult. In their minds, they're just staying the course and continuing along their merry way. So if plans need to change suddenly, a Taurus is likely to become upset. It takes the Bull a while to reset its course. It's sometimes difficult for Taureans to alter their expectations and actions to accommodate change. Sooner or later, though, most Taureans will let their temper pass and return to the gentle, kind, stable partner that you know them to be.

Taureans have a natural tendency to settle down into stable relationships. Because of this disposition, they value harmony and will ordinarily work hard to make their relationship work. Bulls also have a proclivity for indulging in pleasure and beauty, and that makes them bona fide romantics. They tend to be sentimental about love. In fact, the devotion they can show their mates sometimes verges on clingy. However, for you, this kind of romanticism is right up your alley. A Taurus is sure to win you over with their subtle gestures and dedication to your relationship.

In the bedroom, a Taurus lover is apt to be conversely tender and explosive, expressive and creative. These individuals are enamored with beauty of all kinds and seek to make their sexual experiences rich with sensuality. You're likely to find this Taurean approach invigorating and exciting. You like a lover who has a healthy sex drive. As one who is comfortable with sexual expression, you'll probably feel right at home with the Bull's creativity in bed. Taureans tend to be aggressive lovers with an intense energy. Because you admire a passionate and dynamic personality between the sheets, you're apt to thank your lucky stars for your fiery Taurus lover.

In the rest of life, Taureans tend to live by a "work hard, play hard" credo. More than most, they enjoy living in abundance, surrounded by an excess of material goods and physical pleasures. This often includes an enjoyment of gourmet foods and fine luxury items. They don't really deny themselves much in this regard. You're likely to jump right on board and join your Taurus in whatever extravagances the two of you run across. It appears that you both know how to enjoy life's sensual side.

DO:
Being affectionate. Subtly touch their arm when you speak to them, and hug them when you part.
Letting things flow. They like their partner to be flexible and easygoing.
Treating them to a home-cooked meal — especially if you are a good cook.

DON'T:
Interrupting them. A Taurus wants to make sure their points are heard.
Rushing them. The Bull moves at a slow but steady pace.
Pushing them too hard. Respect the Taurean need to be stubborn sometimes.

:)
heh.

2006-01-03T02:23:00.000+08:00

1st lecture of Year 1 Semester 2 in 6 hours.
how exciting.

body clock's screwed up.
i can't get to sleep.

i miss him.
i hate his sister.
what's her problem?

why do i have to allow a 17-year-old to twist me around her little (definitely smaller than me) finger?
childish.

remember your resolutions?

Number 8: Learn not to expect so much from others
Number 12: Be less stubborn; Be more willing to let go

for him, i shall put up with her nonsense, for the time being.

i love my baobei alot.
why?
cannot ah? not happy isn't?

come la.
fight la.
who scared who?

2005-12-31T15:05:00.000+08:00

New Year Resolutions 2006

1. Be more fillal and family-oriented
i've come to realise that they will always be the ones who love you all the same despite all your shortcomings.

2. Be less realistic; Dream more
i think it's important that we don't do things blindly just merely because they're going to help us achieve status, fame and money.
what's the use of living if we are so blindly directed by superficiality and end up being unhappy or feeling uncomfortable?
somehow, i feel that, at times, it's better to dream freely instead of being restricted by societal expectations and demands.

3. Do not compare; Be contended
in the past, i always got very upset over lousy grades, especially if everyone else did well. i've grown to understand that ren bi ren, qi si ren. and that as long as i've tried my best (or know that i haven't tried my best and deserve what i got), it's sufficient.

4. Experience Perfect Imperfection (from Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Teens by Richard and Kris Carlson)

This strategy has nothing to do with not doing your absolute best, striving hard towards your goals, or ceasing to be competitive. Instead, it has to do with being less focused on shortcomings, failures, and deficiencies. It has to do with catching yourself when you fall into the trap of insisting that things be better - or that you look better, or do better, or that others act differently - before you allow yourself to be happy.

.. as you let go of the need to be perfect, you begin to have the experience that there is actually perfection within the imperfection.

5. Start saving; Do not buy on impulse

6. Be consistent, especially in school work
A little bit of daily effort adds up to a lot.

7. Spend more time with friends

8. Learn to not expect so much from others

9. Control my temper; Be more tolerant

10. Be happy

:)
there. 10 for me.

how many for you?

edit:

11. Be less paranoid

12. Be less stubborn; Be more willing to let go

13. Attend lectures and tutorials faithfully

14. Do not take every single person's words or actions too seriously; Be selective in absorption
i'm too preoccupied and too bothered about what other (unimportant) people say or do, so much so that i always end up being very upset and unhappy, over (in fact) nothing important.

15. Do not assume; Try to give the other party the benefit of the doubt

2005-12-31T00:00:00.001+08:00

In 24 hours time,
it's time to get used to penning 06 (2006) instead of 05 when it comes to writing dates.

as cliche as it may sound,
i guess we all realise that time flies; very quickly.
and illogical as it may be,
it feels as if time flies faster as the years go by.

for me, 2005 is a year of drastic changes.

i have been an uniformed student for 6 years of primary school+4 years of secondary school+2 years of JC.
in 2005, i became an undergrad who has to fret over what to wear to school.

i was frequently questioned if i was aneroxic or ill.
in 2005, comparatively, i gained 5kg at my heaviest.

i was living at Choa Chu Kang Drive.
in 2005, i moved to Choa Chu Kang Street 51.

i detested the idea of camping with a group of strangers.
in 2005, NBS FOC wow-ed me and changed my impression of spending days interacting very closely with complete strangers.

i told myself that i would never never ever work in fast food outlets (they pay too pathetically!)
in 2005, i changed my mind and started working in Burger King.

i haven't been on a holiday overseas for 7 years.
i haven't been overseas without my family.
in 2005, i went Bangkok, twice, without my family.
(btw, i realise that going to Bangkok affects my relationship negatively. after trip #1, we had problems. after #2, we officially broke up.)

i thought we would be together forever.
halfway through 2005, i had doubts.
in the last month of 2005, i ended our relationship of 5 years.
in that same last month of 2005, i started a new relationship.

so many things have happened in 2005.
so many life-changing decisions made.
so many uncertainties.

to a better 2006, cheers.

btw, i don't know why, but i don't look forward to 2006. in fact, i feel quite emotional now that 2005 is coming to and end. hah. weird.

2005-12-30T00:53:00.000+08:00

apparently,
everyone around me feels my love for Jie Kai.
lol.

i just received an email from Eugene.

guess u found sth that lit up ur life recently eh... :) Congrats!

do go on wif wad u think is best for you for u know urself best but remember not to cast all ur emotional burdens on a single pillar

Best endeavours and gd luck in ur new-found relationship

Eugene

(:
i realise that my loved ones are rather worried at the extent i'm committing to this relationship.

there were my family, Vincent, Huiwen, Hannah,
and now, Eugene.
and i'm sure there're alot more.. just that i haven't hear from them, yet.
ohyes, David is complaining that i'm not spending enough time with him too! lol.

thankyou.
i know all of you mean well.
:)

Jie Kai treats me very well and i'm really very very happy now.

but if he does bully me in the future,
i'll definitely rant about it.
and when the time comes,
you guys must help me k?
heh.

2005-12-27T01:36:00.000+08:00

i just had time to check my mails, and i was really very glad to receive an e-card from her.
:))))

hello evelyn!!,

(insert Flash greeting card)

Havent seen you for a very long time, and hope you are doing good.
Miss the connection we have when we chat, and its really rare, especially with someone you dont know much about.
Wishin you and Jie Kai all the best, and hope you guys never give up on each other, even when the going gets tough.
Lastly, hope you'll have a Merry ho-ho-ho Christmas and a fantastic year ahead. Stay happy and blissed. (:

Mixue

thankYOU mixue!
it really means alot to hear from you; to know that you're always there though we don't keep in touch often.
hope you have a wonderful and happy 2006!
cheers, my friend, always.
(:
*HUGS tight.

2005-12-25T11:03:00.000+08:00

MERRY blessed CHRISTMAS!

2005-12-23T23:15:00.000+08:00

Queensway today, with Vincent (=, to repair my spectacles and get Jie Kai his SuperStar 2G.

bought ah wen her belated birthday present too. (hope it fits!)

*
talked alot with Jie Kai.
cleared up the insecurities and doubts.
feeling very very very very blessed and very extremely happy now. :D

Like a Rose
A1

And as I look into your eyes
I see an angel in disguise
Sent from god above
For me to love
To hold and idolise

And as I hold your body near
I'll see this month through to a year
And then forever on
Til life is gone
I'll keep your loving near

And now I've finally found my way
To lead me down this lonely road
All I have to do
Is follow you
To lighten off my load

You treat me like a rose
You give me room to grow
You shone the light of love on me
And gave me air so I can breathe
You open doors that close
In a world where anything goes
You give me strength so I stand tall
Just like a rose

And when I feel like hope is gone
You give me strength to carry on
Each time I look at you
There's something new
To keep our loving strong

I hear you whisper in my ear
All of the words I long to hear
Of how you'll always be
Here next to me
To wipe away my tears

And now I've finally found my way
To lead me down this lonely road
All I have to doIs follow you
To lighten off my load

You treat me like a rose
You give me room to grow
You shone the light of love on me
And gave me air so I can breathe
You opened doors I closed
In a world where anything goes
You give me strength so I stand tall
Within this bed of earth
Just like a rose

And though the seasons change
Our love remains the same
You face the thunder
When the sunshine turns to rain
Just like a rose

You treat me like a rose
You give me room to grow
You shone the light of love on me
And gave me air so I can breathe
You opened doors I closed
In a world where anything goes
You give me strength so I stand tall
Within this bed of earth
Just like a rose

You give me strength so I stand tall
Within this bed of earth
Just like a rose

I love you, sweetheart.
thankyou for coming into my life.
*muacks.

2005-12-22T00:57:00.000+08:00

When I Look Into Your Eyes
Firehouse

I see forever when I look in your eyes
You're all I ever wanted, I always want you to be mine
Let's make a promise 'till the end of time
We'll always be together, and our love will never die

So here we are face to face and heart to heart
I want you to know we will never be apart
Now I believe that wishes can come true
'Cause I see my whole world
I see only you

Chorus:
When I look into you eyes
I can see how much I love you
And it makes me realize
When I look into your eyes
I see all my dreams come true
When I look into your eyes

I've looked for you all of my life
Now that I've found you, we will never say goodbye
I can't stop this feeling and there's nothing I can do
'Cause I see everything, when I look at you

Chorus

When I look into your eyes
I can see how much I love you
And it makes me realize
When I look into your eyes
We will always be together, and our love will never die
When I look into your eyes
I see all my dreams come true
When I look into your eyes
When I look into your eyes

Truly Madly Deeply
Savage Garden

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do
I will be strong
I will be faithful
'cause I'm counting on
A new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning, yeah

Chorus:
I want to stand with you on a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry
The tears of joy for all the
pleasure in the certainty
That we're surrounded by the
comfort and protection of

The highest powers
In lonely hours
The tears devour you

Chorus

Oh can you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
'Cause it's standing right
before you
All that you need will surely come

I'll be your dream I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do

Chorus

I want to stand with you on a
mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to live like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

2005-12-19T22:42:00.000+08:00

the day is here.
the results are out.

i am very satisfied and happy.

and i realise it all boils down to the magical word - expectations.

a student who aims for the stars might be grumbling over a 3.1 GPA but an average student will be smiling from ear to ear with the exact same grades.

and i'm the latter.

frankly *puffs chest
i don't consider myself average la. haha.
but i knew i was too last minute in preparation and i wasn't borned extremely smart.

C+ for Econs and OB.
B+ for Business Law.
B for IT.
B- for Communications Management.

and.. Satisfactory for Psychology, which i gave up and didn't study at all!
lol. lucky ass.

competition is tough and quite a number of my peers did very well with mostly As.

i might not be in the top ranks,
but i am top-rankly happy!
=)

2005-12-18T00:32:00.000+08:00

..and the love i have for him is increasing by heaps and mountains, day by day.

2005-12-16T14:16:00.000+08:00

Mixue,
high five.
i suspect i'm suffering from "Quarter-life Crisis" too.

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.
What you don't recognise is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere but that they are as confused as you.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want.
Your opinions have gotten stronger.
You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realise that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.
One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life.
You feel alone and scared and confused.
Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you.
Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better.
Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself...
and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender.

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.
We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can figure this whole thing out.

scary shit.

thankfully, at this point in time, love makes it a little better.
it's not all perfect in love, (nothing is perfect.)

but at least, at this initial stage (and i hope for the coming days or even years),
it's him that makes all things bad seem a little good in some ways.

our elders always say that
ai qing bu ke yi dang fan chi (Love cannot fill an empty and hungry stomach),
meaning that one cannot survive on Love alone;
and also meaning that Love doesn't conquer all,
and the practicality and reality of Life still pricks.

i wouldn't say it's wrong.
but.
it isn't entirely right either.

think about how much we are so concerned with earning the most amount of money and gaining the most power in our studies or careers.

but when we retreat from our official positions,
do we find ourselves in the embrace and warmth of our family?

or do we, sadly, find ourselves sitting alone in the bedroom and pouring out our woes and sorrows to the branded (and lifeless) soft toys that will never really love us the way our family does?

silly human beings.
ignorant.

and i'm wondering..
that it's us, the foolish humans, who brought upon ourselves the horrible ~~natural~~human-induced disasters.

we ought to learn the importance of loving our environment alot more.
we ought to realise that ultimately, we are destroying ourselves, more than the environment.

:P i'm in one of my philosphical moods again.
lol.

2005-12-15T01:35:00.000+08:00

to:
my best friend,
my family,
my precious,
my sweetheart,
my dearest,
my love,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Oh Huiwen!

*MUACKS!

the bestest anyone can have.

2005-12-15T01:26:00.000+08:00

King Kong (2005) is astonishing.
i've never watched anything this spectacular.

please.
watch it.
even if you're broke and down to your last $9.50.

and don't even bother purchasing any nachos, chips, hotdogs or popcorn.
you won't have time for them.
save your money for these for some other boring film.

and now,
i'm looking forward to
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe.

p/s: King Kong is really very very very nice; it has become my all-time favourite. =)
pp/s: Peter Jackson. WOW.

2005-12-12T23:58:00.000+08:00

i miss you.
i really do.

and i'm not saying this to comfort or appease you.

i really mean it.

i've not forgotten the happy times we shared, though you may think i have.

they're at the back of my head.
kept safely and well.
and always remembered.

i know you hate me alot now.
you have every right to.
it's entirely my fault.

i want to call you and talk to you.
but i know you really don't wish to hear my voice.
you said you've never hated someone this much.
it really hurts to hear that from you - a piercing pain.

although there isn't love anymore,
i still treasure you very much and love you as much as a very close friend, and you are still, believe it or not, a very important person to me.

i sincerely hope that one day,
you'll accept me again,
and we can be friends once more.

and i'll be waiting.
however long it takes.

i miss you.

2005-12-11T23:07:00.000+08:00

Aquarius and Taurus

When Taurus and Aquarius come together, they can move mountains. Taurus has a practical, down-to-earth approach to life. Aquarius has an unconventional, out-of-this-world approach to just about everything! They may appear to have few common interests, but they share a very strong desire to succeed. Once these two combine forces, they can succeed at anything.

Both Taurus and Aquarius can be implacable and opinionated. They like to do things their way with as little fuss as possible. Taurus appreciates routine and is conservative. Aquarius is modern and finds routine dull and boring. Taurus will find Aquarius exciting yet may feel frustrated trying to penetrate this inventor's mind. Aquarius will not appreciate the possessiveness of a Bull but will find the solid base Taurus provides to be a great support, although they will probably not admit to it.

Taurus is ruled by Venus and Aquarius is ruled by Saturn and Uranus. Venus is a warm, feminine energy and Saturn a cold masculine energy. Uranus is about all things strange and unusual. Venus is about romance and physicality, both of which are important to Taurus. Saturn is about hard work and discipline to achieve goals while Uranus symbolizes forward thinking.

Taurus will show Aquarius that life is based on emotions and improved by beauty and comfort. Aquarius can teach Taurus to be more aloof, to keep reaching out for what it wants and to move away from something if it is not working.

Taurus is an Earth Sign and Aquarius is an Air Sign. Aquarius operates through pure intellectual exploration, while Taurus is more practical. Taurus asks, "how will this help me achieve my goals in life?" while Aquarians simply focus on what interests them, practical or not and usually ask the question what else. At times these partners may find it difficult to understand where the other is coming from. Conflicts can arise in this relationship if Taurus seems too clinging or Aquarius seems too cold and aloof and. Both partners need to learn that they view the world in different ways.

Taurus and Aquarius are both Fixed Signs. Together they share a strong will and tremendous gumption when striving toward a goal. If they have a plan, they stay with it until they see results. Therefore, if each partner commits to the other, this relationship will be rock solid. Their strong magnetic attraction will never be severed, but if they have differing ideas, they may find themselves in constant conflict. Taurus won't change their mind because they see it as a collapse of their authority and character, and Aquarius may see Taurus as being too inflexible, dull and boring. If they realize that working together is more productive than butting heads, they will remain productive. Taurus is more quietly determined than Aquarius, though, and might -- to a degree -- give in to avoid all-out war when it seems practical to do so.

The best aspect of the Taurus-Aquarius relationship is when they decide to come together they are an unstoppable team. Both Signs have very powerful personalities, so neither will dominate the other -- no matter how hard they try! Once they can work out their differences, come together and can agree on their individual roles within the team the dynamics of this relationship can be wonderful!

- By Astrology.com

This is not a good match for you. If you pair up with a Taurus guy, the relationship is bound to end in a big mess. You are both interesting, unconventional types of people who may at first seem to have a lot in common. However, you are also both incredibly stubborn, and the battles of will between you will be intense. You can’t both get your way all the time, and neither one of you is willing to sit back and let the other take the lead. He is also a really traditional, conservative person who is not really open to new ideas or opinions. He is very set in his ideas, and you will also be driven crazy by his habit of clinging to his attitudes and opinions even when you have totally proven that he is wrong. You will be so busy fighting with each other that the relationship won’t have a chance to get off the ground. Say no to this mismatch.

Aquarius Girl

Outgoing and independent, Aquarians are great friends and sweethearts. Your universal frame of mind keeps you somewhat detached, and your sweetie will have to be comfortable with that. You need a guy who will be able to talk technology and politics, someone who has the same unconventional attitudes and is curious about life. You don't need a moody, overemotional guy whose sentimental attachments keep him from learning and growing.

Do's and don'ts: Making the world a better place is great, but do make sure you're also there for your love, one-on-one, as well. Don't allow yourself to get jealous at the drop of a hat. Aquarians misunderstand people's motivations sometimes and think the worst.

You and an Aries Guy: An attentive sweetheart. He has a lot of energy to direct your way, and you love it. Your relationship will be very spontaneous and fiery.

You and a Taurus Guy: Too homey. You like your guys smart, sophisticated, and worldly. His mind is on more down-to-earth things. You'll never see eye to eye.

You and a Gemini Guy: Your airy partner in crime. Here's a guy made from the same mold. He's funny, fast, spontaneous, open-minded-what's not to like?

You and a Cancer Guy: Mushy and overemotional. Just what you need, someone who can't control his feelings. Don't go there.

You and a Leo Guy: A special love. This guy'll do whatever it takes to win you over, and you'll love every minute of it. You just might get annoyed that he's always on stage.

You and a Virgo Guy: Your worst nightmare-someone who'll take one look at you and tell you what needs fixing. You'll have no problem telling him what's on your mind, either.

You and a Libra Guy: The perfect party of two. No matter if you're planning to stay home and watch a movie, this guy'll make it a special event.

You and a Scorpio Guy: Secretive, suspicious, brooding, energetic-a taste of this guy's everyday mood swings. You'll say you don't need it.

You and a Sagittarius Guy: The wanderers. This is the most adventuresome pair in the zodiac. You'll have more fun than you ever thought possible. Go for it.

You and a Capricorn Guy: Romancing the stone. He's closed-minded, serious, and emotionally cold. Everything that you dislike in a guy.

You and an Aquarius Guy: Bring out the best and worst in each other. You'll agree on most things, but two of you together might get stubborn and remote, so watch out.

You and a Pisces Guy: Better as friends. You both have very intuitive ways of looking at the world, but he's too bleeding-heart for you.

2005-12-09T12:27:00.000+08:00

watched Oi! Sleeping Beauty with Hannah and her friends at the Drama Centre at National Library last night.
it was nice and sweet of the playwright to want to show how soul-less Singaporeans are and how important it is for us to remember our past, but overall, it wasn't good enough for me.
it was well.. below expectations, i guess.

anyway, this brown girl has changed!
she looked splendid last night and she looked gorgeous on her prom night as well! (she showed me some photos.)
heh.
some people is becoming vain leh.
lol.
but hey! it's a good thing and a good start!
i'm sure Desmond lovesss your transformation!
LOL.

met up with Jie Kai after the musical and we decided to trough home after missing the last 190.
evil TIBS.
isn't it ridiculous to have a last bus operating at 11.50pm?!
it should be at least slightly after 12 midnight, right?
HMPH.

anyway,
it was all my fault la.
i wanted to walk from Bugis to Orchard after having a heavy dinner with him.
then, i decided that i had a sudden craving for the Orchard roadside ah pek ice cream.
it was truly a moment of joy, a ~~lifetime~~night of regret.

anyhow, it was an adventure, though quite torturing, to walk from Bugis,

to Orchard,

to Tanglin Mall,

and then, to Holland Village where we couldn't take it anymore but had to cab home.

*
he doesn't care if i go out with him without make-up.
he doesn't bother if we meet his friends coincidentally when i look all tired, ugly and with spectacles.
he is proud of me even though it's very obvious that i look slightly older and less good-looking than him.
he doesn't mind the gossips and criticisms about how plain-looking (in fact, ugly la. but which nice friend would tell the truth?) i am.
he doesn't care about what others think of me and us as a couple.
he doesn't give a damn about the others.

and i am really very very happy, you know.

i mean, you know how a girl has to die die must doll up at the initial stages of a new relationship and must keep her prim and proper-ness to maintain the perfect and pretty girlfriend image.

however, though we've only known each other for 2 months, and interacted less than 10 times in that 2 months before being together,
i do not have to worry about these things, at all.

i can be myself and he still loves me as much.

and that is the very reason why he is so deserving of my love.

thank you, my bao bei.
you really light up a ugly girl's life.

2005-12-07T11:16:00.000+08:00

i talked to mommy last night.
she told me alot.
i asked why she disapprove of my new relationship and Jie Kai.

it's not him, it's you, yourself. blame yourself for dragging him into the picture; for making it more difficult for us to accept him.
,she says.

she says that everyone hates the way that i handled my relationship with Vincent.
she says that i am a heartless person whom she doesn't want for a daughter.
she says that i shouldn't hurt Vincent by telling him the truth - that i love someone else; that i should just say that i want to let go because i really do not like him anymore.
she says that they do not dislike Jie Kai or discriminate against him because he's younger than me; it's just because they hate the way i handled my Vincent-relationship so much that they find it even more difficult to accept Jie Kai.
in short, it's entirely my fault that my new relationship is not recognised and accepted by the family.

i've told mom repeatedly that i am fully aware that i am at fault in handling the past relationship,
and even asked what i should do to improve the current situation so that they will accept my new one.
it's too late. she says.
and she sounds dead serious, as if i've committed murder. perhaps i have.

everyone tells me that
it takes time for the family to adapt and accept.
and even Jie Kai says so.
during those times when my family say things or do things to put us down,
i am the weakling who feels upset that my family is so unreasonable and i will always demand that they be a little fairer to him, while,
he is the strong one, who understands my family and why they do what they are doing, and implores me to give them time and not push them to accept him.

Jie Kai has told me clearly that he feels upset but really understands the situation and doesn't blame my family or me for it.
he wants me to give them some time and not push them so hard at this point in time and we should just listen to what they say.
now, i'm like the younger one in the relationship.
and i'm thankful that he is so tolerant and sensitive towards all that has happened.

btw,
all of them think that he has cast a spell on me.
Vincent is certain about it.
mommy questions.
and even Huiwen and Huiyee joke about it (no offence. =)).

why else would i fell so in love with a 16-year-old?
why else would i give up a 5-year relationship for him?
why else would i ignore my closest family's words because i really want to be with him?
why else would i spend almost the whole of 24 hours with him except sleeping time?
why else would i insist on waiting for him to knock off even when i am so so tired?

i am so in love with him because he is really sweet and nice and every single moment spent with him is filled with happiness and joy. (i know Vincent says that it's just because it's the initial stage. but i really think otherwise. i know it's not.)

i gave up the 5-year relationship, yes i admit, because of him.
but if i still love Vincent,
Jie Kai wouldn't have a chance.
things are the way that they are now because i do not love Vincent anymore.
the same things will happen even if it's not Jie Kai but someone else.

i'm tired of talking about all these.
and this shall be the last of this whole saga.
from now onwards,
i will just wait patiently for the family to accept us and him.
:)
and i am positive that day will come soon.

2005-12-06T08:58:00.000+08:00

it's difficult to please everyone.
i can only do this much.

in the meantime,
other than loving him more,
i really do not know what else.

i know very well that many people have alot to say about my new relationship; mostly negative, sadly.

but i also know myself very well and truly know what i want.

you do not know how happy i am with them.
you do not understand how much it means for me to meet him.
you cannot fathom the extent that our relationship has gone.

he is the best thing that has happened to me in my 19 years in this world.

do you know?

i do not expect you to accept us readily.
but is it so difficult to just keep quiet and let me do as i please?

it hurts even more that the family that i love dearly are so objecting.
but it just warms my heart to have my dad, Alexis, Huiwen, Hannah and Dionne to be so encouraging.

thank you,
and to those frowns,
please.
give me a break.